in which our blogger realizes...

that her almost-sole motivation for trying to be Good is the hope of someday being Loved

that such Selfishness cancels out any Goodness that might be in her

that she cannot conceive of anyone Loving her unless she is first Good

because she does not herself Love anyone whom she does not perceive to be at least partly Good

that she feels like giving up because she is not Loved even though she feels she has been sufficiently Patient and Good to be Worthy

which might indicate a Great and Terrible Arrogance

and that her idea of what is Good may not be shared by anyone Else

that she could Almost be talked into the idea that seeking for Truth is futile because the only Truth is that there is no Truth because Truth is essentially unknowable

that if she actually believed that she would curl up and Die

because what else is there for someone who is not Loved but the hope of Truth?

but if The Truth is that there is No Truth, and she is unwilling to believe in No Truth, then is she actually seeking Real Truth?

but if Truth is essentially unknowable, then neither can it be known that there is No Truth

that she is tired of praying for Love prayers which never seem to be answered and that she cannot Love the Source of Love because it is intangible and she cannot Love Intangibility

that perhaps a desire for Love is in itself a form of Goodness

and that she cannot help but pray to the Source of Love for forgiveness for wanting Love more than Goodness and for wanting to rebel for not being Loved and for not loving the Source of Love

Siren Song

Last night I heard the most enchanting music emanating from the frozen dairy case. Having carefully steered away from the dangerous waters of that particular island for days on end, this time I was drawn irresistably towards it, and before I knew it, I was inexplicably swept into the treacherous current of the checkout line. Yes, I bought and consumed a pint of ice cream. Its siren song was hauntingly bittersweet while it lasted, and then it vanished, leaving me shipwrecked upon the rocks of guilt and indigestion.

I fell spectacularly from grace on both the vegan and sugar-free fronts.

Still, I am resolved to reset my compass, patch my sails, and carry on with my sugar-free, vegan journey.

How Not to Write a Semester Paper

Do not complete the paper by the date that it is due. Request an incomplete in the course. Tell the professor that you will have the paper completed by the end of the following semester. When that date arrives, request an extension of one more semester. Wait until the week that grades for incompletes are due according to the university catalog. Two days prior to the specified completion date, ineffectually shuffle some papers around and briefly scan the requirements. The day before the paper is due, go to the library only to find out that it is closing early. Decide to see a movie. Accept a friend's offer to give you a wake-up call in the early morning so that you can devote 12 hours to the writing of the paper on the day that it is due. Stay up until 5 a.m. drinking beer and watching VH1. When your friend calls, thank her and go back to bed. Get to the library 10 hours before the paper is due. Spend the first five hours writing the first three pages. Panic as you consider the possibility that you may not complete the paper on time. Ponder the consequences for the graduate school career you are no longer sure that you'll have. Feel guilty for being such a terrible student and for taking advantage of the professor's goodwill. Wonder why you are being so self-destructive. Tell yourself, "I will never do this again."

Democracy

I think it's imperative that each person have one vote in a democratic political system, but in an increasingly corporation-driven world, I believe we vote more with our dollars than with our ballots, and some people just have more votes than others. Which is one reason why a true democracy can never exist.

My Feeling Exactly

"Now I can look at you in peace; I don't eat you any more."
-Franz Kafka

Metromint

It's the greatest. Don't ever change, Metromint!

Point/Counterpoint

Point:

"The Myths of Vegetarianism" by Stephen Byrnes

Counterpoint:

A Response to "The Myths of Vegetarianism"

What do you think?

Beauty Boot Camp, Lesson #9

Don't eat, use or wear animal products. Don't use cosmetics or household products that were tested on animals. Compassion is always beautiful.