by Sufjan Stevens
If I am alive this time next year,
will I have arrived in time to share?
Mine is about as good this far.
I'm still applied to what you are.
And I am joining all my thoughts to you.
And I'm preparing every part for you.
I heard from the trees a great parade.
And I heard from the hills a band was made.
Will I be invited to the sound?
Will I be a part of what you've made?
And I am throwing all my thoughts away.
And I'm destroying every bet I've made.
And I am joining all my thoughts to you.
And I'm preparing every part for you.
This is the song that helped to pull me back from the edges of the abyss during a faith crisis in which I was raging at God.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Russian Dolls
Last night I watched a film titled Russian Dolls. It realistically portrays the relationships of several friends approaching their thirties. We see the characters reaching out, longing for connection, searching for sexual fulfillment, suffering the heartache of loneliness. We see one struggling with single parenthood, one with her lesbian identity within the context of a judgmental society. We see one's feeling of conquest and power in capturing the attention of that desired, attractive (but so wrong for him) other. We see one's stark terror at making the commitment of marriage. We see the friction and hostility of a long-married couple. All of this is contrasted against our culture's literary tradition of fairy tales, romantic novels, and screenplays that promote the idea of "The One" and perpetually provide us with happy endings. Several times characters chide each other for having unrealistically high expectations for an idealized person who doesn't exist. Nevertheless, the characters continue steadfastly in their searches.
The film's narrator and protagonist muses towards the end of the film that (serially monogamous) relationships are like a series of nesting Russian dolls. You carefully open each doll, explore the space within, wondering "Is this it? Is this the one? The last?" Eventually, when you realize it isn't, it gets cast aside, discarded, and you open the next, hoping it will be that tiny, perfect one in the center, the one you've been waiting for, searching for.
At the end of the film, you see a formerly estranged, reconciled couple happily following each other down a subway escalator. A large sign above them says "Sortie." The ending seems to suggest that relationship is an exit or way out (of loneliness, perhaps?) but also a descent.
The film's narrator and protagonist muses towards the end of the film that (serially monogamous) relationships are like a series of nesting Russian dolls. You carefully open each doll, explore the space within, wondering "Is this it? Is this the one? The last?" Eventually, when you realize it isn't, it gets cast aside, discarded, and you open the next, hoping it will be that tiny, perfect one in the center, the one you've been waiting for, searching for.
At the end of the film, you see a formerly estranged, reconciled couple happily following each other down a subway escalator. A large sign above them says "Sortie." The ending seems to suggest that relationship is an exit or way out (of loneliness, perhaps?) but also a descent.
Hobbled
Why do we women purposefully hobble ourselves in the pursuit of beauty? I am wearing stiletto heels today, and even I don't fully understand why I find this necessary, but slight wobbling aside, I automatically feel more feminine in them.
We do this in so many ways: with eating disorders, with cosmetic surgery, with excessive exercising, with restrictive fashions, with unprotected sex and tolerance of abusive relationships...
I recognize that at times I am knowingly hobbling myself by not getting enough sleep, by not eating right, by not wearing warm enough clothing in cold weather, by giving in to OCD.
What is the cause of this self-destructive urge?
Why do we feel we must alter ourselves so drastically in order to feel worthwhile and loveable?
And why does society applaud us for our self-control and discipline when our obsessions with achievement and appearance take a destructive turn?
We do this in so many ways: with eating disorders, with cosmetic surgery, with excessive exercising, with restrictive fashions, with unprotected sex and tolerance of abusive relationships...
I recognize that at times I am knowingly hobbling myself by not getting enough sleep, by not eating right, by not wearing warm enough clothing in cold weather, by giving in to OCD.
What is the cause of this self-destructive urge?
Why do we feel we must alter ourselves so drastically in order to feel worthwhile and loveable?
And why does society applaud us for our self-control and discipline when our obsessions with achievement and appearance take a destructive turn?
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
A House of Gold
Song lyrics by Hank Williams
Some people steal, they cheat and lie
For wealth and what it will buy
But don't they know on the Judgement Day
That gold and silver will melt away
I'd rather be in a deep, dark grave
And know that my poor soul was saved
Than to live in this world in a house of gold
And deny my God and doom my soul
What good is gold and silver, too
If your heart's not pure and true?
Oh sinner, hear me when I say,
Fall down on your knees and pray
I'd rather be in a deep, dark grave
And know that my poor soul was saved
Than to live in this world in a house of gold
And deny my God and lose my soul
I think the most beautiful rendition of this song is as sung by Tim O'Brien and Darrell Scott.
Some people steal, they cheat and lie
For wealth and what it will buy
But don't they know on the Judgement Day
That gold and silver will melt away
I'd rather be in a deep, dark grave
And know that my poor soul was saved
Than to live in this world in a house of gold
And deny my God and doom my soul
What good is gold and silver, too
If your heart's not pure and true?
Oh sinner, hear me when I say,
Fall down on your knees and pray
I'd rather be in a deep, dark grave
And know that my poor soul was saved
Than to live in this world in a house of gold
And deny my God and lose my soul
I think the most beautiful rendition of this song is as sung by Tim O'Brien and Darrell Scott.
I'm blue (da ba dee)
So, I'm not usually down with the whole "blogthings" concept of taking random quizzes about things like what sort of espresso drink you would be (I'm a soy latté, by the way) and posting the results on your blog, but...
I just took this personality quiz at The Color Code, and I'm a "blue."
BLUES are motivated by INTIMACY. They seek to genuinely connect with others, and need to be understood and appreciated. Everything they do is quality-based. They are loyal friends, employers, and employees. Whatever or whomever they commit to is their sole (and soul) focus. They love to serve and give themselves freely in order to nurture others' lives.
BLUES have distinct preferences and have the most controlling personality. Their personal code of ethics is remarkably strong and they expect others to live honest, committed lives as well. They enjoy meaningful moments in conversation as well as paying close attention to special life events (e.g. birthdays and anniversaries). BLUES are dependable, thoughtful, and analytical; but can also be self-righteous, worry-prone, and moody. They are "sainted pit-bulls" who never let go of something or someone, once they are committed. When you deal with a BLUE, be sincere and make a genuine effort to understand and appreciate them.
The phrase "sainted pit-bull" struck me, because I have been described both as saintly (yes, haha, it's true) and as a pit-bull with a "mind like a steel trap."
The other possibilities were red (motivated by power), white (motivated by peace), and yellow (motivated by fun).
I just took this personality quiz at The Color Code, and I'm a "blue."
BLUES are motivated by INTIMACY. They seek to genuinely connect with others, and need to be understood and appreciated. Everything they do is quality-based. They are loyal friends, employers, and employees. Whatever or whomever they commit to is their sole (and soul) focus. They love to serve and give themselves freely in order to nurture others' lives.
BLUES have distinct preferences and have the most controlling personality. Their personal code of ethics is remarkably strong and they expect others to live honest, committed lives as well. They enjoy meaningful moments in conversation as well as paying close attention to special life events (e.g. birthdays and anniversaries). BLUES are dependable, thoughtful, and analytical; but can also be self-righteous, worry-prone, and moody. They are "sainted pit-bulls" who never let go of something or someone, once they are committed. When you deal with a BLUE, be sincere and make a genuine effort to understand and appreciate them.
The phrase "sainted pit-bull" struck me, because I have been described both as saintly (yes, haha, it's true) and as a pit-bull with a "mind like a steel trap."
The other possibilities were red (motivated by power), white (motivated by peace), and yellow (motivated by fun).
Monday, September 25, 2006
Proverbs 24:11
“Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter." (NIV)
A Bore
"A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company."
--Gian Vincenzo Gravina
--Gian Vincenzo Gravina
Sudoku-Inspired Stupor
Today in a campus coffee shop, I saw a guy sitting at a nearby table staring dimly into space, glassy-eyed, seemingly transfixed on some elusive mental operation incomprehensible to anyone else. I wondered vaguely what was the cause of his dazed expression. And then I saw it: held loosely in his open palms was a book of sudoku puzzles.
I'm with you, man, I'm with you.
I'm with you, man, I'm with you.
A Prayer
Let my faith and values build in me a framework of strength that I may act with conscience in a time of testing, but let me not wrap myself so tightly with comfortable ideology that I fail to seek or to see truth.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Check It, Yo
Would ending his life be okay? Can you pinpoint the precise moment he became a human being?
Calling All Political Candidates
We need people who...
Will protect our planet by advocating for/enacting strict environmental-protection laws
Will strenthen social service programs and education
Will eliminate tax breaks for the wealthy
Will reduce our dependance on foreign oil and explore alternative fuel sources
Don't have a vested economic interest in waging war
Will consider increasing the minimum wage to a living wage
Can see beyond walls around our borders
Will support equal rights for gays and lesbians
Are committed to sustainable agricultural practices, including organic farming, and who will help to enact a ban on irradiated and genetically engineered foods
Will work to halt animal cruelty, including factory farming, the fur/leather industries, and animal testing
Will promote reproductive health education that factually discusses birth control options and provides condoms while at the same time emphasizing abstinence as a viable and doable choice (Duh! it doesn't have to be either/or!)
Will support and protect LIFE across the board, which means no death penalty, no abortion (even in cases of rape and incest), no animal cruelty, no doctor-assisted suicide, an end to genocide
Will work for nationally-mandated maternity and paternity benefits (paid parental leave plans, for example) like many European countries have
Will recognize the rights of sovereign Native peoples to retain and control their ancestral lands and sacred sites
Will protect our planet by advocating for/enacting strict environmental-protection laws
Will strenthen social service programs and education
Will eliminate tax breaks for the wealthy
Will reduce our dependance on foreign oil and explore alternative fuel sources
Don't have a vested economic interest in waging war
Will consider increasing the minimum wage to a living wage
Can see beyond walls around our borders
Will support equal rights for gays and lesbians
Are committed to sustainable agricultural practices, including organic farming, and who will help to enact a ban on irradiated and genetically engineered foods
Will work to halt animal cruelty, including factory farming, the fur/leather industries, and animal testing
Will promote reproductive health education that factually discusses birth control options and provides condoms while at the same time emphasizing abstinence as a viable and doable choice (Duh! it doesn't have to be either/or!)
Will support and protect LIFE across the board, which means no death penalty, no abortion (even in cases of rape and incest), no animal cruelty, no doctor-assisted suicide, an end to genocide
Will work for nationally-mandated maternity and paternity benefits (paid parental leave plans, for example) like many European countries have
Will recognize the rights of sovereign Native peoples to retain and control their ancestral lands and sacred sites
Quote of the Month
"The Sun is still shining."
--Sophia Scholl, Nazi resistor and Christian martyr, speaking her last words on her way to the guillotine
--Sophia Scholl, Nazi resistor and Christian martyr, speaking her last words on her way to the guillotine
Thursday, September 07, 2006
O, the Joy!
The intersection of possibly my two most favorite things to contemplate, learn about, explore, and practice...
A compiled list of blogs having to do with vegan knitting and crocheting.
Oh, and by the way...
A compiled list of blogs having to do with vegan knitting and crocheting.
Oh, and by the way...
Monday, September 04, 2006
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