My old enemies, perfectionism and procrastination, are rearing their heads once again to slow my progress. I am struggling with my February resolutions, and my January ones have collapsed along with them. Have I been reading my Bible the last few nights? No. Have I skipped flossing? Yes. Have I eaten sugar? Yes. (There was that mocha that was given away for free because nobody claimed it... mmmm.... And then there was that protein bar that had just an eeensie bit of chocolate drizzled over the top... it was so easy to justify.) Have I made it to bed by midnight? Sometimes, but certainly not as the rule. Is my sink shiny? Unh-uh. Have I decluttered? Not yet. I absolutely dread doing this. I can't face my mountains of boxes... I don't even want to touch them, much less assign a place to the contents (there isn't room in my dorm anyway, even for the things I love). Last night was my goof-off night, and I had no trouble doing that, but today was my laundry and get-things-done day, and instead I spent the entire day with my family.
So. I have to start over. Today. Right now. Every day is a new beginning. And it's not as if I'm going back to square one. As one of my friends recently said, "When you're running a race, and halfway through you fall down, you're not suddenly transported directly back to the start. No. You've still made progress. When you pick yourself back up again, you're starting from where you left off (which is still halfway to the finish line)." Her remark was in reference to the spiritual life, and how when we make a mistake or fall back into familiar sin after committing ourselves to the Lord, we have a tendency to beat ourselves up, despair, and want to give up, when really we should recognize that we've begun the process of sanctification and be happy to be on the path. But I think the analogy works well in any area in which we are striving to make progress.
I am starting fresh again.
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