I am trying to cure my insomnia (actually delayed sleep phase syndrome) and resultant daytime fatigue, missing of morning classes, tendency to be always rushing and running late, etc. It's time that I rejoin my life and start meeting my daytime commitments. Unfortunately, since I usually feel a surge of energy starting at around 9 p.m., and my creativity tends to peak between the hours of 11 p.m. and 3 a.m., all my ideas are going up in smoke (or should I say snores?) with my new efforts to be in bed by no later than midnight. Alas, I'm still having trouble making it to morning classes. The fact of the matter is that my body will sleep as much as I let it, be it 12 hours or even longer. So going to bed at midnight doesn't necessarily make it easy to get up at, say, eight. Sigh. Why wasn't I blessed with the cheerful, always on-time morning person gene? Why can't I greet the dawn (instead of dusk) with a spring in my step and genuine pleasure at the prospect of a new day? Why? And what is it that will get me there? Is it just a matter of discipline and willingness to relinquish my hold on my nighttime creativity and productivity and force myself into bed at an earlier hour night after night? When will it be less of a struggle?
It's tempting, when I eventually resume my role as a full-time wage-earner, to simply resign myself to a lifetime of working graveyard or swing shift. But, in reality, I honestly find the lack of natural daylight that comes with my vampiric ways incredibly depressing and want desperately to be able to reset my internal clock.
In the meantime, a dearth of blog posts just means I am making myself at least try to simulate a "normal" schedule -- a schedule in which I sleep at night and am awake during the day and make it to my morning classes like any good student should.
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