Maybe it's a little strange to mention it on my blog, but I feel compelled for some reason to do so. So, if you're considering suicide, please don't do it. Please. The saying is a little clichéd perhaps, but it's so true that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Even if your problems or state of mind feel permanant, they aren't. Please believe me. Circumstances change. And even when they do remain the same (temporarily), perspectives can change. Perspectives that may make all the difference between your desire to live and your desire to die. Think about this: every life will end in death. That is certain. But how do you want to spend your eternity? I believe that in death the state of our souls in this life is made permanent. If you die a self-inflicted death borne of pain, desperation, isolation, the deception that it will be better for others, a desire for revenge, hatred, rage, sorrow, or whatever emotions are lulling you into thoughts of death, you may be sentencing yourself to an eternity of more of the same, with no hope for change or release. If, on the other hand, you commit yourself to survival and courageously face your problems and pain, your future holds so much promise of joy, usefulness, peacefulness, purpose and blessing even if you cannot see it now.
Perhaps you don't believe in eternity. Perhaps you believe that death means a permanent loss of consciousness. Consider, for a moment, the possibility that you may be wrong. Are you willing to stake not only your life, but your eternity, on your belief that death is merely a peaceful escape from the pain of life?
Please just hold on. Please reach out for help. Please don't punish yourself for someone else's wrongs to you. Please talk to someone you trust. Please dare to say a prayer for deliverance from the darkness pressing in on you. Please don't give up if the first person you talk to doesn't understand or know how to help you best. See a doctor, a counselor, a priest or pastor, a friend, a teacher, or all of these. Try medication or nutritional supplements. Consider the possibility that you have not exhausted your options. Please just keep trying. Please.
There is hope.
How do I know? I've been there. I have spent most of my life (from childhood to adulthood) battling severe depression and depression-inducing anxiety. I have been hospitalized twice -- once for an attempt, and once for suicidal ideation/threats. I am not ashamed to share this because, in my opinion, there is way too much stigma surrounding mental health issues in our society, and the only way to ever reduce this stigma is for sufferers to come forward and have their voices heard. I believe there are many different causes for depression; sometimes the issue is brain chemistry resulting from poor nutrition, low thyroid, stress, etc. Sometimes it's loneliness or a feeling of uselessness. Sometimes the problem is spiritual. I definitely believe that Satan and his demons tempt us by preying on our weaknesses (one of which may be a genetic or biological predisposition to depression). It is not your fault that you are feeling this way but you are responsible for how you choose to cope with it.
Fortunately, for as many times in my life that I have fantasized about suicide (more than I can count), it is no longer an option for me to even think about it. It no longer holds the glamour, the appeal, the promise, the tantalizing allure that it once did. Yes, I still experience the temptation of despair at times, but it no longer holds me in its grip. This change has not happened overnight, but it has happened. Every day that I place my hope, trust and faith in God is a new day to learn, to grow, to hope, to love, to meet the challenges I face, and to grow closer to Him and others. He is there for you.
I realize this post may be insensitive to a reader who has lost someone to suicide, and I would like to offer this thought: "What is impossible with men is possible with God." (Luke 18:27). I believe that God hears and honors your faithful prayers for the soul of your beloved. I do not believe that God turns his back on us ever, even in death. I believe that he yearns after us: "...how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!" (Jesus speaking, in Luke 13:34). I believe that it is we who isolate ourselves from him and that when this is done purposefully and unrepentantly in a sustained manner, it results in the state of the soul known as hell. I am not a theologian and so these words are only a reflection of my own thoughts, but I do believe that prayers on behalf of those who are not able to pray for themselves have great efficacy. For this reason, we should never lose heart!
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